Days 4 and 5

Days 4 and 5 have been pretty bad as well. I think I am getting used to the pain. It has spread under my left arm now. I have a patch there and also some more lesions moving to the front on top of my left breast. The pain, it is hard to describe. It itches and burns like road rash, but it also aches like a bruise.

Day 4, Sunday

Day 5, Monday
You can sort of see some of the small blisters popping up on the front. So far, I have gotten some relief from after sun spray containing lidocaine and aloe. The oral pain relievers are relatively useless. Ibuprofen has taken down a lot of the swelling. The Valtrex seems to have slowed the spread some, but not completely stopped it.

Yuck

Yes, these pictures are kind of gross to look at. I have had a few people tell me it looks like heat rash. I can assure you it is not heat rash. The only logical explanation is shingles. The blisters are starting to form and should rupture in the next day or two. I haven't found any relief yet. My grandfather suggested anything containing capsaicin. I have been using aloe and some after sun care with lidocaine. It helps for a few moments. The rash has started under my left arm now and the sensitivity across my chest remains. I took a Percocet last night and all it did was make me nauseous, even with food before bed. So back to ibuprofen and plain tylenol... and lots of deep breathing. I think I'd rather go through unmedicated labor, at least that is over in 24 hours or less!

WTH are you feeding this girl?

It is a good question I suppose. I took Aubrey to get her chicken pox (varicella) vaccine yesterday to hopefully lessen the chance of her catching them from me. So we did the well baby check at the same time. She was 33.5 inches and 32lbs. 6 ounces! Yes, she weighs nearly a pound an inch. The doctor asked me what the heck she eats (she said heck, yes). I told her Aubrey is not picky (because she's not). She eats table food, veggies, fruit, grains, whatever it is I feed her. She is also still nursing. This is something I am struggling with, but in the meantime she is still being indulged. So I have a big, healthy, happy girl!

She stole RJ's breakfast off the counter when I took her out of her high chair. Maybe that is why she is so chunky?

Shingles! Not the kind on your roof...

Yep, I have shingles. I am 28 and other than being a little overweight, healthy. Stress, well yes, I have stress. So I suppose this is how it has chosen to manifest itself. It started with burning tingly skin. Then about 24 hours later the first set of rashy lesions appeared:
Another 24 hours later they have spread and hurt like hell and itch so bad at the same time. I am freaking miserable. I am on Valtrex and the doctor gave me a painkiller. Too bad that makes me super nauseous without relieving any discomfort.
I do not think I can handle months of this! Ugh, I will be updating here and there. I am mostly chronicling for my own record.

My first tutu!

So I made my first tutu today. I went to Joann's since the tulle was on sale (for $0.78 per yard). I only bought a half yard of each red, white and blue. I had the elastic waist at home and I had some red, white and blue ribbons in my ribbon stash. I'd read several places that all you need to do was sew the waist band and then slip-knot the tulle on. It really is that easy! I added some ribbon (I might add more) and I am done! I do have some blanket binding I may attempt to cover the waist with (to protect her skin). I also have a very cute red and white gingham swing top and white bloomers for her to wear. I am excited! I have 2 weeks to make it perfect.

A side view, it could be fuller and I would buy more material next time although I am super happy with the length.

From the top, I will be adding more ribbon and may change it out for the 1/8" instead of the 3/8" using it every spacing.

I took this picture as soon as we woke up Sunday morning.

Where did my week go?

It's Thursday already????


OK, I have no idea where my week went. I feel like I still haven't accomplished much of anything. I have a clean kitchen and porch, I got the kids rooms cleaned out. I have one of those 4 foot long 3 foot wide tubs full of baby clothes that no longer fit (having a girl was notgood for my budget). I scrubbed and scoured all day, but I didn't get anything done that I want to do. I have a finished dress that I am not happy with the top on, a half finished purse that I want to add grommets instead of button-holes one and about 15 scrapbook pages that just aren't quite right.


Am I being neurotic? Probably. I am also overly tired and stressed out about finances (who isn't anymore?). I mean, we're fine, we'll make it, it is just another thing that I am not happy with our position on.


Oh, and the lady at the front office gave Aubrey a peppermint patty when I wasn't looking and see what happened:

So we had a bath and tooth brushing in the bathroom sink (because I hadn't cleaned the tub yet).

Baseball practice went well, other than RJ running after every ball whether it was hit towards him (at third base) or the other way. Enough ramblings for the evening, goodnight.

Sigh, Sunday

So I have taken an emotional time-out for the last week. I think I am ready to jump back into things. We've had a lot happen this week, including a trip to the Emergency Room for a split chin. RJ is signed up again for baseball and will start on Thursday night this week. He is excited, and hopefully it will keep him busy for the summer. We just need to find a mommy and me class for Aubrey and I to take at the Community Center. She sure could use a little socialization (her skills are seriously lacking).

Today we went on a spectacular drive, which I wish I had the specifics for. Matt always seems to find the best trails. Here are a few pictures from the first stop, some petroglyphs and the family in Keyhole Canyon:

If you are into Geology at all then this is one heck of a place to go. There is so much variety and these rocks have been violently altered through history (eons). You can see the veins running through in some places and just the differences from one hill to the next (or in the same formation) are amazing. I won't bore anyone with specifics, but here are a few of my favorites:

We took a power line road over the mountain range (or through it) and to the Colorado River. It was a LONG drive with views to-die-for (almost literally, it was so steep) and lots of changing scenery. This was our highest point, we were so far up I swear I can see the Atlantic (well maybe not that far).

We played in the Colorado for a while before heading home. Right before we got into the town of Nelson I spotted some big horn sheep on the left side of the road. Matt walked barefoot across the asphalt to take a picture for me (is he a good husband or what?)

It was a great day all around, a much needed respite. The kids were exhausted (as am I) and Matt went to bed at least an hour earlier than usual. As for the rest of my day-to-day activities, they have been put on hold once again. I will resume, as scheduled, to the best of my abilities.

Oh what a Saturday

So, in good Irish Catholic fashion I decided to drink tonight. We had our lovely babysitter, Aunt Mandy. Mandy is a childhood friend of Matt and his sister, Regina. She is beautiful and happy and bubbly ... even Aubrey, hater of all people, ran into her arms this evening. She watched the kids so that Matt and I could attend a wedding reception. We came home and RJ had dressed himself in this:

Matt and I attended for about an hour. It was almost painfully uncomfortable. I know Matt would love to rekindle this friendship in another setting, so hopefully they will get in contact again soon. Hopefully it meant something that after 15 years, Matt attended this union. It really was a beautiful ring ceremony and reception. We kind of left early though, me being in an emotional state already, and went to the bar. Here is the dress I wore (although I had some spanx on to suck in the rest of the belly!!!):

The second picture is of Aubrey and I as we are about to leave. I think I over the fiasco that surrounded my attendance at the funeral. Let us hope so, because I have been angry and unable to focus. Matt (who is spiritually sensitive) says that grandma bears no ill feelings and understand my inability to attend at the hands of my father. So tomorrow, hopefully, I will be emotionally stable again and can get back on track with this and everything else. One more night to wallow in sorrow fits the bill.

Goodnight,

Grandma

Dear grandma,

I am sorry I held a grudge and never got the chance to tell you I love you again. I am sorry that you never got pictures of your great-granddaughter. I am sorry that I didn't forgive you before it was too late. These are things I will live with and I hope that you can forgive me.

I do want you to know that no matter what you said or did, I loved you immensely. I have some really great memories of times we spent together. I remember when you came to Albuquerque to visit once and took Sara and I to the zoo. I remember that you cut across six lanes of traffic because you were about to turn the wrong way. You also bought us ice cream and snacks, which our parents never did (a perk of grandmotherhood). I remember visiting you "down the shore" when I was little. You would always sneak me a salt water taffy.

When I was 14, I got to stay with you for an entire month. I think I must have put you through the ringer, but you kept me busy. We went to Longwood Gardens, we saw a Celtic band with Uncle Martin, and you took me to the mall about every other day. I had a great tan because you would sit at the pool with me for hours when it wasn't raining. We went on a trolley tour of Philadelphia, driven by Uncle Martin. We went to the Benjamin Franklin Institute and ate hoagies and Philly cheese steaks. I can't forget all the pretzels I ate either! Or Pinocchio's. I developed a love of Philadelphia I wouldn't have known otherwise. We went to Ocean City and I got to meet Uncle Walter before he passed away ... and hang out with Julie, who I idolized that summer (other than the Jeep burns!). Fourth of July was probably still one of the best I've had hanging out with all of the Owsiks (and there are a LOT of them!!). You even needed a break (who wouldn't at half your age?) and I stayed with Uncle Pete and Aunt Helen in Cherry Hill where I ate a ton of "vitamin I" and got to see Picasso at the MoMA in New York City. We played Scrabble a lot and you even let me win sometimes. I had to look your words up in the dictionary! You let me cook for you and ate my manicotti without one complaint even when I inadvertently added cilantro instead of parsley. There was so much more that summer, but the best times were just sitting and talking to you. There was a lot I learned from you grandma, about your history, about life in general. You certainly never apologized for being you.

The last time I saw you was when you touched my newborn son and welcomed him into the world. You would be proud grandma, he is becoming a wonderful person. One day I will bring them to visit you and Pepop.

I love you, I'll miss you.

One of those days

MC 900 ft. Jesus

"Adventures in Failure"

(see playlist at bottom to hear the song)

No post today, just this... it seems fitting for my mood.

Damn I hate this job

to work in this dump you gotta be a snob

everybody gets on my nerves in this place

I think I'll take the afternoon off from the rat race

an exciting career

don't amount to much but a pain in the rear

I bust my ass all day for a dollar

and then I go home and listen to the kids holler

devoted spouse waitin' in the den

wants to hit me upside the head with a rolling pin

does that ring a bell?

a daily routine we all know well

I'm makin' more but enjoyin' it less

the good life's mainly causin' me stress

making a change is difficult but

I gotta try to get out of this rut

but fear seems to be holdin' me back

courage is the principle trait I lack

I gotta calm my nerves so I can think

I pour myself a nice stiff drink

and another this is my usual mode

one for the money and ten for the road

ah, now everything is clear

I gotta get the hell out of here

Yes now my mission is plain

a Big Mac is calling my name

I gotta sample some of Ronald's cooking

so I raid my wifes purse when she's not looking

pondering the wonderful thing called marriage

I accidentally back the car into a baby carriage

'scuse me ma'am I'd love to stay and chat

but watch where you're going next time you old bat

I hit the gas and zoom down the block

leave 'er in the dust yellin' for the cops s

wervin' round a corner tryin' to steer

I get so excited I almost spill my beer

a neighbourhood dog is yappin' at my bumper

so I slam on the brakes and I hear a big thump

I jump the curb and land up on a lawn

then I finish my beer and turn the radio on

some idiot's goin' on about rehab

I grab a brew and yank on the pull tab

here comes a little old lady with a shot gun I

put the pedal to the metal and she runs

digging on my off-road driving power

I do a donut in a bed of flowers

then I jerk the wheel a little to hard

the car rolls over and over on out of the yard

(Causin' much destruction)

(Act the fool)

I come to rest in the middle of the street

a bunch of empty beer cans rattlin' at my feet

starin' in the window is a nosy little brat

I look him in the eyes and say "I meant to do that"

then I notice my watch says I'm overdue

for my big appointment at the local drive through

I do a number on the accelerator

and I'm cuttin' in line about thirty seconds later

whaddya think this is? some kinda joke?

gimme 10 Big Macs and a small diet coke

I pull up to the window with my radio playin'

I grab the bag and leave without payin'

I weave down the road for a block

jugglin' a beer and a a styrofoam box

pull into a parking lot and kill the motor

presently I notice a peculiar odour

a little black smoke is risin' from the hood

somethings gonna happen and it's probably not good

I open the door grab my stuff and go

just in time to watch the whole thing blow

the car explodes with a bang and a hiss

Oh boy, my wife is gonna really like this

I can't believe this is happenin' to me

this piece of junk's goin' back to the factory

this was a blatant attempt on my life

everyone will fall for that except my wife

but wait a plan begins to emerge

I suddenly have an overwhelming urge

to spend the night in the great outdoors

my suburban lifestyle has become a bore

I'll build me a fire and finish my burgers

what my wife don't know won't hurt

her I leave the scene of the unhappy event

resolved to make the most of my predicament

a few yards away I feel better

I know! I'll write 'er a letter

or better yet a ransom demand

got your husband send the money understand?

or else we'll send his head home in a jar

P.S. sorry 'bout the car

Yeah, now that ought to really do the trick

I'll be gettin' off the hook and she'll be worried sick

but really, I'm gonna make it up to you honey

I'll buy you a new car with your own damned money

I walk a while into the sunset

a man, at peace with the world, you bet

nothing can diminish my total enjoyment

except when I pass my place of employment

Damn I hate this job

to work in this dump you gotta be a snob

everybody gets on my nerves in this place I think

I'll take the afternoon off from the rat race

(Hard like a criminal)

Prayers and bread

So, I think my grandmother has given up. She is 93, I think. She has pneumonia. The doctors say that she could pull through if she wanted to, but she doesn't want to anymore. She lives alone, not that my many uncles, aunts and cousins don't do everything she needs them to. Please, those of you who read, pray that she is comfortable in life or passing.

Tonight is a bread making night. I am making homemade rye, from a recipe my mother gave me. I will post pictures and the recipe tomorrow. As for that dress, I have decided to modify it but need some more material, which I am waiting for in the mail. They were out at the Joann's closest to me (I need the same material).

I also have the cutest pincushion idea! I think I will be able to turn a few of those out in the near future. Hint: they will be shaped like fruit and have storage. I have also created 3 layouts (scrapbook) to match some of this summers Gymboree lines.

I will be working a lot the next few days as Matt is again out of work. Then we have the wedding Saturday, all of which may be blown depending on what happens with my grandmother. Much love, goodnight.

Is this MY house?

I have been so engrossed in projects recently that I have neglected my house some. I guess the breaking point was when I realized RJ was going commando today! Bad mommy, I know. So tonight I am doing laundry and making patterns. This way I don't drag too many things out tonight. One day I will have a room where I can spread out all of my projects without fear of little hands getting into things.

In the meantime, I will make more effort to clean up as I go!

Did I mention that I have lots of wedding related things to do this week? I have to buy gifts, which is the fun part. Then I have to go to a wedding of Matt's friend from high school (class of '92! lol). I have heard numerous stories about these guys, but it will be interesting to see how they have all grown up (he is marrying someone younger than me!). Then I am going to be in a wedding next Wednesday. My ex-boyfriends wedding to be exact! Yes, I know, I know... but the bride is one of my best friends. So this should be an interesting few days finding something to wear and something to suck it all in.

A check-up and a giggle

I went to the doctor today as a follow-up appointment. I told him I was not taking the Zoloft. I just don't think I need it, so I never filled it. He said he thinks I still show some signs of clinical depression, but that if I want to try diet and exercise first he would like to see me once every few weeks. All of my blood work came back normal. I do not have thyroid problems, high cholesterol or STD's! Thank goodness on that last one, or I would be writing this from a jail cell. I have also lost 6.5 lbs. since the last visit and 10lbs. since my birthday (March 25th). So my current weight is 182 . Yes, I made that a smaller font! OK, OK that said 182! No where near where I need or want to be, but I am happy with that for now.


So on a funny note, this is what happens when you let your 14 month old feed herself applesauce:

Cheerios too!

She likes to smear lotion/sunscreen on herself so she must have decided this was a suitable texture as well.

Goodnight!

Sewing machine month

The ladies over at sew mama sew are doing a whole series about sewing machines this month. Since it is something I've recently picked up again, I think I will participate. I have 2 machines, but since one is still in New Mexico I will write about my first.



What brand and model do you have? A Brother VX-1120
How long have you had it? almost 10 years, since December 1999
How much does that machine cost (approximately)? This model is about $100 brother-vx1120
What types of things do you sew (i.e. quilting, clothing, handbags, home dec. projects, etc.)? Mostly it has been used for costumes and home dec. projects
How much do you sew? I sew a few times a week right now.
How much wear and tear does the machine get? I sew quickly, so sometimes it will shake the table. I don't do a lot of denim/dense projects.
Do you like/love/hate your machine? Are you ambivalent? Passionate? Does she have a name?
I really do like my machine, it is simple and easy to use/thread. She doesn't have a name but I think I may call her Belle.
What features does your machine have that work well for you? an on/off switch? Haha. She is very simple and straightforward. At least she goes in reverse.
Is there anything that drives you nuts about your machine? No.
Do you have a great story to share about your machine? I was depressed and living away from home when I got it. At first I was kind of upset that I got something practical... but then I made my first pillowcase, and then some curtains, and then I appliqued a fabulous pair of jeans. I have used it periodically since then when I need a pick-me-up. Now that I have 2 kids and stay home I use it all the time.
Would you recommend the machine to others? Why? I would recommend this machine to novice sew-ers and people who periodically decide to make things. There are not a lot of special features and it didn't come with any additional feet. It does get the job done though.
What factors do you think are important to consider when looking for a new machine? I think it is important to decide what exactly you will be using the machine before. I need something that is all-purpose.
Do you have a dream machine? I would LOVE something that embroiders but am not particular on brand. I own this and the Singer Inspiration 4228