Monday, April 26, 2010

Super

So one of my most recent creative outlets has been super capes, for kids young and old. Inspired by my little monkeys, the venture started to take off.

Then I began to wonder what we teach our children about heroes. They expect them to fly through the sky and rescue people in need. Equipped with a cape and a mask, secret identities intact, these super figures captivate our imaginations from a young age. As girls, we want to be rescued and fall in love with a man like this. We want a man who can solve all of our problems with a kiss, a man who is so in tune with human need that he disappears to save man-kind. As little boys, we want to have all the power in the world to vanquish the bad guys, to get the girl, to leap buildings and see through walls. Some time during adolescence we lose the ability to believe in such things. Reality sets in and we realize that we are mortal. We have our hearts broken, by ordinary men, with ordinary dreams.



Thursday, April 22, 2010

Storytelling

This is a not-entirely-fiction story in the works, loosely based on my life:

So where does my life begin? Somewhere after the last left off I suppose. Maybe they all intertwine and I haven’t caught the right rope quite yet.

I am in the midst of an emotionally complex marriage. It is further complicated by the fact that we have a six year old son and a two year old daughter. It seems the only interests my husband (not partner) holds in me are as a babysitter, errand runner and income generator. Sure, there are times he feigns interest to get something he wants (when exactly did gender roles switch?).

This whole epiphany came about quite recently. My husband nonchalantly informed me that some parents on our sons baseball team think we are divorced. These are parents I have met before, to whom I have introduced myself. Nonetheless, he thought it may motivate me somehow? I am not sure exactly how, but I will find out soon enough if I know him so well.

Flash forward a weekend, I have a friend over. There is sexual tension that is quite palpable; more from him than from her, although she is quite in on the joke. We have a few drinks and sit around the television to bullshit. Sure enough the second she leaves, he bolts up and announces he is going to bed. There is no invitation to follow, just a lame attempt to ask for a kiss (another implication he is done with me for the evening). I stew for a few minutes… but I am not good at stewing, so I march to the bedroom and announce that he needn’t do me any favors in the future by staying up. There is some mention of me being irrational and a bitch, which is par for the course. Naturally, my feelings do not matter.

So where do I stand? Well, I think this is the beginning of the end. I will try and stand on my own two feet and support two kids in the process. I can only pray that my drive accelerates and takes me in the directions I need to go.

My family… now that is an entirely different book

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A gloomy, allergen inducing, wind-ridden, desert day. How fitting it is to my mood. Today I have decided to part paths with someone very instrumental in my life. Sure, this is a technical term for an emotional bond, but how else am I to break free?
I have two small-ish children to attend to. Every day these little birds will depend on me for food, shelter and love. The last I have in spades, but the first two may prove to be a challenge now and again. I am the type of girl who can do anything she puts her mind to (although it is challenging with the attention span of a gnat). I could bartend or belly dance or even balloon. It seems to be the things that keep my attention the longest require a large amount of attention (and money) to begin with.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Style change, New Look, New Attitude

I've been thinking a lot recently about my desire to lose weight. I am overweight for certain, but I have no other medical issues. I have excellent blood pressure and cholesterol, no signs of diabetes or thyroid problems.

I do have the same issues most married mothers my age have, occasional bouts of depression and typical PMS. So why exactly do I want to lose weight?

I am not unhappy with my appearance (other than the occasional new wrinkle or gasp gray hair). I have breasts that fed two happy healthy children (that my husband is still fond of). I have a belly that carried two said children, that will never be quite as taut as it once was. I have thick thighs, which I've always had. I have a curvy figure that some women envy, regardless of the fact that I am a solid 35 pounds over my ideal weight. My sister, who is 115lbs. soaking wet, is and always has been, miserable with her inability to gain weight.

I guess the grass is not always greener on the other side.

My quest this summer is to try and not feel self-conscious. I have dimples in my knees and cellulite on my thighs. Who cares? There are so many women who are gorgeous and not super model skinny. As long as I am healthy, I want to embrace where I am in life right now, at this moment.

Be on the lookout for ways I solve typical fit issues with clothing. From looking shapeless in many of today's shifts and tunics to that ever-lovin' gap in the back of so many jeans. These are my issues, please feel free to share yours too.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Holy smokes Batman!!!

Today is GOLD in the crafty blogosphere.



Look at all the giveaways going on!! 4 winners every hour all day (and it is 3:00pm here so I've missed most of it)